Turns forty mid-quest and still insists on finishing the campaign.
Married the birthday knight and somehow still shows up every year.
Jeanette's sister. Says she forgets the rules, then quietly demolishes the table.
Bailey's little brother. Spots the winning moves, but keeps the game going.
Bailey's Best Friend. If it can be collected, he's got three of it.
Bailey's Best Friend. Doesn't care who wins, just that everyone's still at the table.
Flips the board metaphorically, and once, allegedly, literally. We keep inviting her.
Rod. Rod rod, rod rod rod — rod? Rod! Rod, rod. Rod rod rod rod, rod.
Bailey's cousin, first year in the party. Still learning which alliances are load-bearing.
Em's girlfriend. Arrives with zero expectations, and is wholly unprepared.
Occupied becoming a father, which everyone agrees outranks the campaign.
Runs the DnD table with a firm and fair hand. Indisposed delivering the actual main quest.
Calculates every possible line of play, then picks the pettiest one on purpose.
Where he sits, order goes to die — but he always brings the good snacks.
Learned chaos at the source and somehow out-scaled the teacher.
Rules the table by force of will and an utterly unreadable face.
Think your stats sell you short?
Take the Stat Trial — a short quest that re-rolls your four stats. Your card art and title stay; only the pips change.
⚔ Take the Stat Trial